Quantcast
Channel: The Durham Exchange
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 43

Insights from My Weekend as an Action Hero (Part 2)

0
0

This post is the second part of a two-part blog. Read part one here.

Recently I shared some of the lessons I learned from the Academi Training I participated in with my EO group. It was literally an action-packed weekend, and I learned too many lessons to fit in just one post. So today I’m sharing a few more of the wild trainings we got to do and the tools and ideas I took away from them:

What’s Your Priority?

We spent an entire morning practicing simulations of an intruder entering our home. We learned what our instinctual responses were, what a healthy way to respond was, and how to approach the situation from both defensive and offensive positions.

In the offensive approach, we had to go into a room and “shoot” a person who was holding our “child” hostage. Naturally, it was a difficult situation to be thrust into. I’m by no means a passive person, but I’d never seen myself as someone who could shoot and kill another person. Yet when it came down the moment of truth, I experienced an internal shift that allowed me to be able to shoot the intruder.

I’m sure it was in part due to my maternal instincts–I would do anything to protect Viktor in real life! But the key part of the training hinged on prioritization. Every two minutes during the simulation, someone would be asking us, “What’s your priority?”Insights from My Weekend as an Action Hero (Part 2) | Durham Exchange With the constant reminder that my priority was saving my child, the choice was already made for me. In an everyday situation, not taking another person’s life is a pretty basic priority–I don’t mow down pedestrians on the way to work because being on time isn’t as important as not harming other people. But in a situation like the simulation with two very tough choices, the constant reminder to focus on my priority was what gave me the capacity to make the right choice in the split-second moment of decision.

That gave me a valuable insight: that leadership depends on the ability to make the hard call on what the priority will be in a tough situation. In my life, I’m always looking for win-win solutions–how both parties in the situation can come to a satisfactory agreement. But this simulation taught me that sometimes a situation just can’t be win-win. And when it is no-win, I have to make the decision between less harm and more harm, even when that comes at a high cost.

Making the Call

Just recently we had a problem in our business that illustrated this idea perfectly. We were in the midst of changing the primary software we use to run operations at Carpe Diem. Due to an error the software vendor made when they were setting up our system, a number of our clients got deleted right out of the system and we missed several scheduled cleanings during the week. Naturally, our management team was furious about the situation, and it didn’t help that when we tried to explain the problem to the employee who had installed the system he was dismissive of what we had to say. Once we were finally able to get in contact with someone from the vendor who was willing to hear us out (a lesson in and of itself, but I’ll save that for another time), I explained as succinctly and directly as I could what the problem was and that we needed it fixed right away.

My management team couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting more upset with the manager at the software vendor. How could I just speak with him like everything was okay and not demand an apology for the damage that had been done to the business? The truth was that my managers had every right to be upset, and I agreed that the vendor needed to be held accountable not only for the error, but also for their employee’s cavalier attitude about it when we first brought the issue to his attention. But in the moment that I was speaking to the manager, I couldn’t spend my time both chewing him out (professionally, of course) and getting the problem solved. I knew that it was more important for the business to get the error fixed quickly. After that was done, I could have a conversation with the vendor about accountability. But having that conversation first would mean the problem would go unfixed that much longer.

Our business was in crisis mode, and we needed to choose between causing less damage or more damage.

Defense ≠ Passive

Back at Academi, to test us in the defensive situation, we were faced with an armed intruder in our home. This time around, the only person we had to worry about “rescuing” was ourself. The intruder had opportunity, desire, and a weapon or skill set of some kind. But that didn’t mean we were defenseless: we had knowledge of our environment and the element of surprise. The instructors explained that the best way to disarm the intruder wasn’t to go after literally disarming them of their weapons—it was to use our advantages to take away their opportunity. Generally, once the opportunity is gone, the desire disappears with it (and the weapons don’t matter as a result).

Although this simulation was about playing the defensive side, that didn’t mean being passive. The instructors kept having to remind me that I should still stand in an offensive position if I wanted to succeed in disarming the intruder of their opportunity. Unlike the previous simulation, my goal here wasn’t to use the offensive stance to cause harm, but instead to minimize harm to the intruder by shutting him down as effectively and efficiently as possible. That said, the defensive stance isn’t passive either: it’s not a position of weakness but of practicing active protection. (If you’ve ever had to extract yourself from a toxic or abusive relationship, you understand what that means). Whether from an offensive or defensive stance, taking the defensive side of a conflict means actively working to keep things stable and hold the boundaries in place. Insights from My Weekend as an Action Hero (Part 2) | Durham Exchange

I did find it intriguing to notice that whichever stance I started from, my wins on the defensive side carried less emotional satisfaction. It reminded me of being at a football game: the crowd cheers louder for big offensive plays than big defensive ones (and might not even notice some of the small defensive plays that are the real difference in winning the game). I think it’s a helpful reminder to us to take stock of the ways defensiveness serves us well: how consistently succeeding with 10 existing clients can mean more than securing one big new client, or how setting boundaries in personal and professional relationships can prevent us from getting into conflicts in the first place. Getting those big offensive wins is still a boost to company morale and can reflect exciting new growth. But as any coach in any sport will tell you, it’s defense that wins games.

I pray you never have to deal with a real armed intruder in your home. But if you ever the chance to practice with a fake one, I encourage you to jump on the opportunity—you might discover an entirely different set of lessons for yourself (and I hope you’ll share them with me if you do!)

When did you have to make a tough call on priorities recently? What did you learn from the experience? What are some defensive wins you’ve had that you may have overlooked?

The post Insights from My Weekend as an Action Hero (Part 2) appeared first on The John O'Daniel Exchange.


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 43

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images